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My top 3 tips for surviving separation by Alison Allen

Break-ups are never fun and working through them can be tough. We all have our own little coping mechanisms – eating vast quantities of chocolate, a night out with the girls, going on a shopping spree – but does this really help? I’m all for bingeing on a bag of M&M’s while trawling my fav online stores but this only helps in the moment. What I found after working in family law for many years is that quick fixes are often not as helpful as we’d hope.

So, here are my top 3 tips of things you can do to help yourself when going through separation.

Tip 1- slow down and Take a breath 

I’m sure you’re all familiar with the saying “it’s a marathon, not a sprint”. Well, there’s no better saying to apply to separation. 

Often we see clients rushing through separation. Many take the view that faster is better. This is not always the case with separation. Sure, our instinct in a time of crisis is to try and fix things as quickly as possible but rushing through separation can lead to problems. 

The best piece of advice I can give anyone who is going through or contemplating separation is to slow down and take a breath. Find a holding pattern early on and allow yourself to work through the emotions of separation. 

Tip 2- Seek advice

Another common trap for people going through separation is to consult “Google lawyer” or a ‘bush lawyer’ – that friend or family member who has ‘been there, done that’ and tries to offer their ‘advice’. 

While there is a lot of information on the internet, knowing where to start and how to use that information can be tricky. So, my second tip is to seek professional advice. Getting the right advice initially can make a huge difference. Advice is empowering and can be a great stress relief. 

Whether you’re contemplating leaving a relationship or have been separated for some time, you should seek advice from a family lawyer and other family law practitioners. 

Tip 3 – Find a distraction and have some ‘me’ time

I find there is no better way to escape stress than finding a distraction and having time to yourself. This could be as simple as a daily walk or yoga class. You might like to take up a new hobby or get lost in a new Netflix series.

It doesn’t matter what you are interested in, just find something to do each day or each week for you that allows you to ‘switch off’ from separation and spend some time focusing on you. Block this time out in your calendar and don’t let anything interrupt you- switch your phone off! 

So, once you’ve had tome to process the idea of separation, seek some initial advice to know where you stand and what your rights are. Separation can often bring about a lot of unknowns but seeking information early can often allay dome of these concerns and let you find your holding pattern. And most importantly,look after yourself- emotionally and physically- through separation. Find that outlet that lets you ‘switch off’ and have some ‘me time’.  

If you’d like to learn more tips on surviving separation, join me for our Information Session on 8 May 2018. You can reserve your spot HERE.

Alternately, contact our office to book your free 15 minute consult or book online HERE.

Alison Allen

Alison is a Collaborative Family Lawyer here at Brisbane Family Law Centre. As a family lawyer, Alison helps families through separation, with a focus on finding out of court resolutions.

Alison has practiced exclusively in family law since her admission in 2009 and in this time, has helped many families through separation. With a dual degree in Commerce and Laws, Alison has a keen interest in complex property settlements. Alison also has considerable experience in assisting client with parenting, child protection and domestic violence issues.

Away from law, Alison has a passion for ballroom dancing, fashion (well, online shopping), food and the outdoors.

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Brisbane Family Law Centre is a multidisciplinary legal practice offering a holistic service to clients experiencing divorce and separation.  Although the word “Brisbane” appears in our firm’s name, we are increasingly finding that our client base is not limited to that geographic area. In fact, we are servicing clients from all over Queensland, Australia and even overseas!
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